Listen up...Listen up...Listen up!!!

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It was a great sunny day and our lesson for the moment is about the “undying”communication process. I said undying because it's been taught over and over again as every semester begins in an English or a Filipino subject. Anyways, our instructor first focuses on one of the four macro skills of communication, that is speaking. She said and I agreed that it's the most prioritized skill of communication; we often see so many call centers around that requires primarily the skill of speaking excellently. Then when our teacher turned to its partner skill, listening, she urged that unlike the former, it is the most the most unprovided skill, simply because there can't be a direct and formal mastery of this skill. Unless of course if you are experiencing abnormal silence in your surroundings that you have to consult a hearing aider.

But I realized something else about listening that doesn't just look at its formality as a communication skill. That is its importance as a tool in informal and casual communications. What do I mean? Well take for example when you are asking someone and he did not urgently (or not at all) replied. I'm sure you have experience like “talking to the air” when nobody have listened with what you've said to a couple of friends. Or even experienced like you do not belong in a group discussion or an executive meeting just because you're not heard with your suggestions. Isn't it annoying? And because of that many miscommunications arouse and sometimes brought up feuds and hatred. That is why I prepared some pointers hereabout listening up that I want to share to you and learned.

1. First and foremost, always find time to answer back your talk mates even with just a smile or a nod. If you do not understand what he have said, don't ignore him, always try to pardon.

2. When you are talking to two or more persons coupling around you, effort to look at your left and right, especially when in a forum. Or unless otherwise, people around you will bear in their mind that they are not involved with what you're saying and will just not listen up to you or worst, leave your meeting place.

3. If you can't hear what your chat mate is saying, avoid approaching your ear near his mouth. Sometimes it annoys him especially when he is really shy. Just pardon him if you can't really hear with your face quite nearer only or even just still.

4. Don't answer back if you're not sure you understood what your talk mate have said. Because more often than not, it will cause misunderstanding. Try to say “pardon” as always. This holds true also to text and online messaging.

5. When someone is talking not to you but you know that the person supposedly he's asking is not responding (maybe he's busy chatting other people), try to answer him back as much as you can if you know the answer and if his question is for general only. If you can't also respond (or you're not supposed to respond), just try to call the attention of the one he's asking in an unoffensive way (to the one who's asking).

6. If you are the leader of a group discussion, always show a good leadership. Listen up to your member's comments and suggestions, not just your own ideas, so as not to ignite conflicts in your group. This is one of the foremost values on listening.

7. Lastly and the most important of all, LISTEN UP CAREFULLY AND SINCERELY! If possible, don't let them repeat what they have said. This can help them gain self-confidence, if you would just know. And also, this can help your colleagues be amiable and comfortable with you and by that, you also can gain many comrades in them.

And those are the golden rules of listening. I hope many of you have LISTENED UP to me through this very simple article.